The Class Trip from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures series Book 1) Read online

  BY

  MIKE THALER •

  ILLUSTRATED BY

  JARED LEE

  THE

  CLASS TRIP

  FROM THE

  BLACK LAGOON

  # 1

  Get more monster -sized laughs from

  The Black Lagoon

  #1: The Class Trip from the Black Lagoon

  #2: The Talent Show from the Black Lagoon

  #3: The Class Election from the Black Lagoon

  #4: The Science Fair from the Black Lagoon

  #5: The Halloween Party from the Black Lagoon

  #6: The Field Day from the Black Lagoon

  #7: The School Carnival from the Black Lagoon

  #8: Valentine’s Day from the Black Lagoon

  #9: The Christmas Party from the Black Lagoon

  #10: The Little League Team from the Black Lagoon

  #11: The Snow Day from the Black Lagoon

  #12: April Fools’ Day from the Black Lagoon

  #13: Back-to-School Fright from the Black Lagoon

  #14: The New Year’s Eve Sleepover from the Black Lagoon

  #15: The Spring Dance from the Black Lagoon

  #16: The Thanksgiving Day from the Black Lagoon

  #17: The Summer Vacation from the Black Lagoon

  #18: The Author Visit from the Black Lagoon

  #19: St. Patrick’s Day from the Black Lagoon

  #20: The School Play from the Black Lagoon

  #21: The 100

  th

  Day of School from the Black Lagoon

  #22: The Class Picture Day from the Black Lagoon

  #23: Earth Day from the Black Lagoon

  #24: The Summer Camp from the Black Lagoon

  #25: Friday the 13

  th

  from the Black Lagoon

  ®

  CLASS TRIP

  BLACK LAGOON

  THE

  FROM THE

  SCHOLASTIC INC.

  CLASS TRIP

  BLACK LAGOON

  THE

  FROM THE

  by Mike Thaler

  Illustrated by Jared Lee

  For Ruwan Jayatilleke,

  a dedication to your dedication.

  —M.T.

  For Stephanie, Cassy, Zachery, Danielle, and

  Garrett

  —J.L.

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright

  Conventions. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted,

  downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into

  any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means,

  whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without

  the express written permission of the publisher. For information regarding

  permission, write to Scholastic Inc., Attention: Permissions Department,

  557 Broadway, New York, NY 10012.

  e-ISBN 978-0-545-66779-1

  Text copyright © 2002 by Mike Thaler.

  Illustrations copyright © 2002 by Jared D. Lee Studio, Inc.

  All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Inc.

  SCHOLASTIC and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered

  trademarks of Scholastic Inc.

  First printing, September 2002

  Contents

  Chapter 1: The News Blues. . . . . . . . . . . 7

  Chapter 2: Exploring the Subject . . . . . . 11

  Chapter 3: Destination Speculation . . . . 16

  Chapter 4: Wonder Enlightening . . . . . . 23

  Chapter 5: This Must Be D-Day . . . . . . . 29

  Chapter 6: Off We Go . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

  Chapter 7: Into the Wild Blue Yonder . . 37

  Chapter 8: Flying High. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

  Chapter 9: Jungle Bungle. . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

  Chapter 10: Fast Food . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56

  Chapter 11: In the Grand Sand . . . . . . . 59

  Chapter 1

  the news blues

  We’re going to take a class trip

  tomorrow. It’s our first class trip.

  I hope it’s a first-class trip!

  I’ve read about the Titanic.

  Only the first-class passengers

  got the good food and lifeboats. I

  hope we don’t hit a giant ice cube

  and go down the sink.

  Maybe we won’t take a boat

  at all. Maybe we’ll fly on an

  airplane. I still don’t know what

  holds those things up. Then

  again, maybe we’ll take a train. I

  know what holds them up . . .

  bandits!

  They say, “Getting there is half

  the fun.” What’s the other half?

  Getting back, of course!

  Chapter 2

  exploring the

  subject

  In my history book, I learned a

  lot about some famous class

  trips. Lewis and Clark’s class

  went across America. They

  couldn’t find one open motel.

  A kid named Chris Columbus

  sailed across the ocean. He got

  very seasick.

  Marco Polo walked to China.

  He met a real emperor.

  Richard Byrd’s class went to

  the South Pole. They met a real

  emperor penguin.

  And Neil Armstrong went all

  the way to the moon. He didn’t

  meet anybody.

  I wonder where we’re going

  and whom we’re going to meet.

  Chapter 3

  Destination

  Speculation

  Freddy calls. We talk about all

  the possibilities. Then we pick

  our favorite one. Freddy wants

  to go to Pizza Mutt. I choose

  Dizzyland.

  But we’ll probably be going to

  the nature museum or the art

  museum. At one, you look at the

  charts, and at the other, you look

  at the arts.

  Freddy still holds out for Pizza

  Mutt. He always looks on the

  bright side. He’s an optometrist.

  Then Eric calls. He always

  looks on the dark side. He’s what

  they call a messymist.

  He says that ther

  e’s a 50-

  percent accident rate on class

  trips.

  Half the class will be carried

  off by wild animals, fall off a high

  mountain, or drop into a deep

  hole. We choose our favorite. We

  both pick dropping into a deep

  hole, so we can pretend to be

  golf balls.

  Then Randy calls and says

  that sometimes you go to really

  dangerous places. Your parents

  have to sign a release for

  m.

  One class went on a picnic to

  an active volcano. It erupted and

  all they ever found were 15 toasted

  peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

  Another class took a trip to

  Antarctica. Is there an uncle-arc-

  tica and cousin-arcticas? They’r

  e

  still defrosting.

  My mom says that the first

  place I have to go
is to bed

  because I have to get up early

  tomorrow morning.

  Chapter 4

  Wonder

  Enlightening

  It’s hard to fall asleep. I keep

  thinking about all the places we

  could go. And I worry about all

  the things that could happen.

  We might make a journey to

  the center of the earth. But in

  the middle, it’s like the hot fudge

  on a sundae.

  I don’t even like to go into a

  closet. I’m happier when I can

  see the sky. Eric says I have

  closet-ra-phobia. If we go far

  enough, then we’ll come out in

  China. Then we could eat lunch

  at a Chinese restaurant.

  Or maybe we’ll just go to the

  bottom of the ocean. There are

  many things down there with

  lots of teeth and lots of arms. It’s

  also very dark. The deepest that

  I’ve ever been in the ocean is up

  to my ankles.

  Maybe we’ll go to Mars. They

  put you to sleep, and when you

  wake up . . . you’re there.

  The things on Mars are even

  weirder than the things at the

  bottom of the ocean.

  They’ve got bigger teeth,

  longer arms like springs, and

  fingers like plungers. Their

  eyeballs are on stalks and wave

  around in the air. They all have

  bad breath and breathe through

  their ears. You have to put your

  head in a fishbowl and walk

  around in slow motion.

  Where in the world are we

  going to go? Or where out of the

  world? I close my eyes and

  wonder. . . .

  Chapter 5

  This must be d-day

  The alarm goes off at 5:30 in

  the morning! I hate getting up

  early. The chickens ar

  en’t even

  up yet! And I shuffle into the

  bathroom.

  My eyes are hardly open. I

  squeeze out some toothpaste

  and brush my teeth. Boy, it sure

  tastes weird. I look at the tube

  and it says

  BROWN SHOE POLISH.

  My shirt feels very small.

  Then I discover that my head

  is in the sleeve. My pants feel

  odd, too. I discover they are on

  backward. At least I won’t mess

  up with my shoes. Wrong again!

  I have the left one on my right

  foot. And the right one’s on my

  knee. This is not going to be a

  great day.

  Chapter 6

  Off we go

  I wonder what I should pack.

  Randy says that you have to be

  prepared for anything. He says

  that he’s taking snowshoes,

  malaria pills, signal flares, a

  snakebite kit, and a lifeboat.

  I think I’ll take my lucky

  rabbit’s foot. Of course, it wasn’t

  lucky for the rabbit.

  Oh, well. I stumble downstairs

  for breakfast. I grab a box of

  cereal and pour some into a

  bowl. Then I pour in some milk.

  It all bubbles up. I look at the

  cereal box. It says

  DISHWASHING

  POWDER

  . . . . I guess I’ll skip

  breakfast.

  I open the front door and step

  outside. It’s dark and full of

  coats. Wrong door. I try again

  and really step outside. It is just

  as dark but there are no coats.

  Even the early birds aren’t up

  yet. I feel like an early worm and

  wiggle to the corner.

  I wait there with my brown

  teeth chattering. Out of the

  gloom come two lights. It’s the

  school bus. Mr. Fenderbender

  opens the door and I get on.

  All the kids are there, sitting

  stiff and staring straight ahead.

  They all have brown teeth.

  Everybody’s breath smells horri-

  ble. A green fog covers all the

  windows. I guess we won’t be

  singing camp songs today.

  After four minor collisions, Mr.

  Fenderbender stops and tells us

  to get out. Things have to get

  better . . . don’t they?

  Chapter 7

  into the wild

  blue yonder

  We’re at a small airfield. Mrs.

  Green is standing by the first

  passenger plane ever made. It

  says

  BUILT BY THE WRONG BROTHERS

  on the side.

  As we climb aboard, she hands

  each of us a parachute. I guess

  we’re not going to the museum.

  We strap them on and try to sit in

  our seats. I feel like a camel.

  Mr. Fenderbender puts on a

  pilot’s cap with goggles and sits

  up front with Mrs. Green. They

  both try to figure out how to

  start the plane.

  Meanwhile, Eric, the class

  clown, pretends to be the flight

  attendant and gives the safety

  instructions. “In case of the

  likely event of a water landing,

  your seat cushion can be used as

  a flotation unit.” I look down.

  There is no seat cushion. This is

  definitely not first class.

  Doris asks what movie will

  be playing. “W

  e’re showing a

  bunch of selected shorts,” Eric

  answers. He smiles and then

  reaches into his backpack and

  pulls out his underwear. “Gross!”

  we yell.

  Mr. Fenderbender guns the

  engine. We’re all pressed back

  in our seats. “Happy landings,”

  cackles Mrs. Green.

  Chapter 8

  flying high

  Mr. Fenderbender flies like he

  drives. We do loop-de-loops,

  barrel rolls, and dives. Penny

  throws up. Good thing I didn’t

  eat breakfast.

  After eight hours of aerial

  acrobatics, a red light goes

  on. Mrs. Green lines us up

  alphabetically, opens the door,

  checks our parachutes, and then

  pushes us out. Derek is first, but

  I’m secooooooond!

  We land all over—east, west,

  north, and south. There are kids

  twisted in every possible

  gymnastic position. Mrs. Green

  grades us on our landings.

  Freddy is the only one who gets

  an F. He landed in a lion’s mouth.

  We are all a little shorter as we

  line up and march off into the

  jungle. The lion burps. Freddy

  would have liked that.

  Chapter 9

  jungle bungle

  The jungle is having a bad hair

  day. It takes every blade in my

  Swiss Army knife to hack our

  way through.

  And you have to be very

  careful where you step. All the

  animals ar

  e party poopers, and

  you have to look out for the

  dreaded hippo-potty-mess.

  The heat beats down on us. It’s

  like being in a fur

  ry oven.<
br />
  All of a sudden, Eric shouts

  out, “Knock, knock!”

  “Who’s there?” we all ask.

  Eric beats his chest and yells,

  “Tarzan!”

  “Tarzan who?” we ask.

  “Tarzan stripes forever!” he

  giggles.

  I guess that’s a little jungle

  joke.

  A snake as long as a jumbo jet

  slides by. Hairy spiders as big as

  hamsters bounce on webs as

  large as trampolines.

  Penny sniffs a purple flower

  and it grabs the end of her nose.

  Mrs. Green tells us the name of

  the plant in Latin. She says we’ll

  have a quiz in an hour.

  Randy sees a sandbox and

  jumps in. Unfortunately, it’s a

  quicksand box. He sinks in up to

  his chin. “It’s not recess yet,”

  scolds Mrs. Green as she pulls

  him out.

  Derek pets an orange zebra

  with black stripes. Mrs. Green

  tells him it’s a tiger and that he

  doesn’t have to raise his hand

  anymore if he has a question.

  Mosquitoes as big as Count

  Dracula buzz all around us. They

  think it’s lunchtime and that

  we’re the special of the day. I feel

  like we’re in an all-you-can-eat

  restaurant, and we’re on the

  menu!

  Eric shouts, “Knock, knock!”

  “Who’s there?” we all ask.

  “Safari,” he says.

  We throw up our hands.