The Spring Dance from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures series Book 15)
O
#15
THE
BY
MIKE THALER •
ILL
USTRATED BY
JARED LEE
15
SPRING DANCE
BLACK LAGOON
FROM THE
THE
SPRING DANCE
FROM THE
BLACK LAGOON
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by Mike Thaler
Illustrated by Jared Lee
SCHOLASTIC INC.
THE
SPRING DANCE
FROM THE
BLACK LAGOON
To Jean & Jack
Bethanne & Scott
Hernia Heroes
—M.T.
To Cheryl Emmerich
—J.L.
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Conventions. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted,
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any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means,
whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without
the express written permission of the publisher. For information regarding
permission, write to Scholastic Inc., Attention: Permissions Department, 557
Broadway, New York, NY 10012.
e-ISBN: 978-0-545-37559-7
Text copyright © 2009 by Mike Thaler
Illustrations copyright © 2009 by Jared D. Lee Studio, Inc.
All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Inc.
scholastic, little apple, and associated logos are trademarks and/or
registered trademarks of Scholastic Inc.
Lexile is a registered trademark of MetaMetrics, Inc.
First printing, May 2009
Contents
Chapter 1: A Bloomin’ Disaster . . . . . . . . . . 6
Chapter 2: Tease for Two . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Chapter 3: Out of the Frying Pan . . . . . . 16
Chapter 4: No Class . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Chapter 5: Tripping the Light Fantastic . . 26
Chapter 6: Okey Dokey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Chapter 7: Picture Perfect . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Chapter 8: Hello, Jell-O . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Chapter 9: Getting in Step . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Chapter 10: All Washed Up . . . . . . . . . . . 48
Chapter 11: Friday Fever . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
Chapter 12: Crossing the Great Divide . . . 53
Chapter 13: Having a Ball . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
Chapter 14: Footloose and Fancy-Free . . . . 60
CHAPTER 1
A bloomin’ disaster
It’s spring! The flowers are
blooming, the birds are singing,
and our class is having a dance.
We all have to go. And we all have
to dance . . . with the girls !
6
7
A spring dance—this is going
to be a disaster. I know how to
spring, but I don’t know how to
dance. The only steps I know are
how to step on other people’s
feet. Mrs. Green says it’ll be lots
of fun, but I know it’ll be for the
birds.
8
CHAPTER 2
TEASE FOR TWO
On the school bus, the girls
are giggling and the boys are
grumbling.
10
“Hey, Hubie, save a dance for
me!” shouts Penny. Then they all
giggle when my ears turn red.
11
How is it that girls know just how
to torture you?
“Hey, Hubie, are you going to
wear a tuxedo?” yells Eric.
Boys can torture pretty
well, too.
13
For the next ten blocks it’s Pick
on Hubie Day.
14
Everyone gets into the act. And
when I finally get off the bus, my
ears are as red as a fire engine.
15
CHAPTER 3
OUT OF THE
FRYING PAN
I go straight to my room and
slam the door. Mom comes in.
“What’s wrong, Hubie?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on, Hubie, your ears are
on fire—what’s bothering you?”
16
17
I bare my soul. “It’s the dance,
Mom. This Friday, in school, with
girls.”
“Well, what’s so bad about
that?”
“First of all, I’m clumsy.”
“You can practice.”
18
“Secondly, I have two left feet.”
“We can operate.”
“And thirdly . . . I don’t know
how to dance.”
19
“No problem. Get in the car. I’ll
take you to dance class.”
Oh, no, why don’t I learn to keep
my mouth shut? Every time I tell
my mom a problem, I wind up
with two more.
20
21
CHAPTER 4
NO CLASS
We pull up in front of Mrs.
Tunny’s dance studio. The sign
on the door says,
walk in and
dance out. Mom takes me by the
arm and leads me in. Well, drags
me in would be more accurate.
22
23
I hope none of my friends see me
here. Oh, no, they’re all here—
Eric, Derek, Freddy, and Randy.
They’ve been dragged in, too. It’s
amazing how all our moms think
alike.
24
25
CHAPTER 5
TRIPPING THE LIGHT
FANTASTIC
Mrs. Tunny is a linebacker. She
bounces over and grabs my hand.
Then she hauls me to the center
of the room.
26
“I will now demonstrate the
tango,” she shouts over the
music.
27
She twirls me, spins me, pulls
me, rolls me, and throws me.
Dancing’s rough—it’s more like
a tangle. I feel like a yo-yo. When
I unwind, she grabs me again.
28
29
Everything’s dark. I can’t hear
the music. I can barely breathe.
Dancing is dangerous. After an
hour of torture to tunes, class is
over. We all limp out.
30
“See you next week!” Mrs.
Tunny shouts.
31
No way. I’d rather wrestle a
sumo or box with an octopus.
32
CHAPTER 6
OKEY DOKEY
When I get home, Mom gives
me a few tips about dips. I already
learned the tangle. Then there’s
the cha-cha. If I train for that,
I’ll have a cha-cha train. Then
there’s the can-can. I don’t think
I can-can do that.
34
I might manage the bunny hop,
but forget the bossa nova, the
hula-hula, and the hokey-pokey. I
&n
bsp; wonder if there’s a hoopy-poopy?
I’m just not cut out for this.
36
I’m way too square. Hey, maybe
I can do a square dance.
37
CHAPTER 7
PICTURE PERFECT
That night I watch lots of dance
movies on TV.
38
Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly—
boy, those guys could dance.
They had flying feet that caught
the beat. I grab the lamp and
try a few steps around the living
room.
39
I don’t trip the light fantastic—I
just trip over the light. I’m afraid
I’m hopeless and hopless.
I have clods that plod.
40
41
CHAPTER 8
HELLO, JELL-O
That night I have a dancemare.
I’m wearing 200-pound shoes
and I’m trying to dance on Jell-O.
The dance is a jitterbug. I have
the jitters and I try to bug them
out, but I just sink deeper in the
Jell-O. It’s lemon-lime. At least it’s
a flavor I like.
42
CHAPTER 9
GETTING IN STEP
The next day at school, I go to
the library. Mrs. Beamster has a
book on how to dance. It’s called
One Step at a Time. It has little
footprints showing how to move.
44
I follow the diagrams and move
my feet under the table.
“Stop fidgeting, Hubie,” she
says.
“I’m not, Mrs. Beamster, I’m
dancing.”
45
“Hubie, the library is not the
place for you to practice the
terpsichorean arts.” I don’t know
what the twerp-scorpion arts
are . . . but if I had eight legs, I’d
need a lot more practice.
46
I go to the boys’ bathroom.
There’s no one there, so I do my
moves in the mirror. I think I have
the box step just about down. I’m
flushed with excitement!
47
CHAPTER 10
ALL WASHED UP
It’s Friday. The big day! I get up
early and take an hour shower.
Then I put on lots of underarm
deodorant. It’s the pits, but I
smell like a flower. Next, I check
for pimples. That zit!
When you dance with girls,
they are very close to you. They
see everything. They smell
everything. I brush my teeth
three times and gargle with
Mom’s mouthwash. I’m as ready
as I’ll ever be.
48
49
CHAPTER 11
FRIDAY FEVER
On the school bus, the girls
have on pretty dresses and shiny
shoes. I hope I don’t wind up
50
51
stepping on any. The girls smell
good, too.
We all get through the day and at
two o’clock we go to the gym. It’s
decorated with spring things like
birds, flowers, trees, and bees. I
wish they’d all buzz off. The boys
line up on one side and the girls
on the other.
The music starts and we just
stare at each other. Someone’s
got to break the ice. It might as
well be me.
52
CHAPTER 12
CROSSING THE GREAT
DIVIDE
I start across the floor.
Everyone’s looking at me. What
if I trip? What if I fall? What if
no one will dance with me?
Humiliation!
53
I’m getting closer to the girls.
They’re looking at me. Then
Doris smiles. I take her hand
and lead her out onto the dance
floor.
54
55
CHAPTER 13
HAVING A BALL
The music is a boogie-woogie.
Sounds like something you’d find
in your nose. I just stand, holding
her hand, and we stare at each
other.
Everybody’s watching. Move,
legs, move!
56
I start doing the box step with a
little wiggle.
58
Doris does the same. We’re
dancing! She spins me—I spin
her. This is fun!
59
CHAPTER 14
FOOTLOOSE AND
FANCY-FREE
The music ends way too soon—I
was just getting warmed up. I
hope my deodorant holds out.
61
When the music starts again—
all the girls come up and ask me
to dance.
62
Instead of being a wallflower, I
have my pick of the bouquet. In
all fairness, I give out numbers
and dance with everyone.
Hey, Gene Kelly’s got nothing on
me . . . I’m footloose and fancy-
free!
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Mike Thaler, The Spring Dance from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures series Book 15)
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